checking back in

i returned from mexico june 29th and well no excuses, just delayed my re-entry to the blogging world. i of course have had many things i wanted to write about - the retreat, loss of my friend, coming back to sf, pride weekend, relationships and the ending of some of them. the lazy mind got ahead of me and well as you can see, nothing happened. no writing. zilch. nada.
thankfully at the prodding of my friend tom, who is an official writer, i was reminded of the nike slogan...just do it. sure i have posted to fb and sort of thought in mind that was enough but we both know...one sentence does not count as writing.
so today, sunday, while i wait for my laundry to dry i pull up my boot straps and get back on that horse.  today i recommit to my daily writing. unedited, uncensored!
thank you tom.

checking out

hi ho hi ho it's off to mexico i go (insert whistling).
at first i thought i would write every day about my experience in mexico and post it but now i think not. i don't want to be that yoga teacher that is at the computer the entire time.
so with the exception of emailing john every day and responding to his email and an occasional friend - i am going off line.
happy start of summer everyone.
cheers, andrea

i am amazed and grateful

i am amazed at how many people have given me help this week...today especially. when i really needed it the most, wow...i am so grateful.

this is my learning path

having lost a friend so unexpectedly i have been feeling waves of grief. all i keep thing is why? thankfully i am surrounded by super smart wise thoughtful who have shared their wisdom with me. and each person has been spot on in what they have shared. i am taking it all in. for some reason i am to experience this in order to perhaps do something with it to help someone else out.
even this feeling of sadness and emptiness...although small in time and severity...i wonder is this a small glimpse of what my friend experienced. i don't know. it is not easy but i know i am changing. i don't know where this will take me but i know it is of meaning and value.
rest in peace my friend.

my next halloween costume

Baby accessories seldom come cuter than this.

A Georgia mom-to-be has a viral hit on her hands thanks to her crocheting skills and a fondness for Cabbage Patch Kids – the dimpled dolls that sparked a craze in the 1980s.

“I was a huge child of the ‘80s and I had lots of Cabbage Patch Kids dolls and I just loved them,” Amanda Lillie, 33, told TODAY Moms.

She also loves to crochet and scours Pinterest for new patterns, so she was excited when she saw another user showing off “Cabbage Patch hats” – accessories that mimicked the woolen hairstyles of the toys. But Lillie didn’t think they looked like the real thing, so she pulled out her old dolls and decided to crochet a wig of her own.

As a fluke, she put it on sale on her Etsy shop last fall and the business just took off, she said. It takes Lillie two to three hours to crochet one of her Cabbage Patch Kids wigs. The most popular model has pig tails and comes in a light-brunette color, she said.

Lillie, who lives in Dawsonville, Ga., and is expecting her first child in September, also sells patterns for the accessory and estimates it would take a crocheting novice about a day to complete.

Courtesy Amanda Lillie

Amanda Lillie wears an adult-size wig modeled on her favorite Cabbage Patch Kids doll last Halloween.

Most of her customers buy the wigs for babies who are about 8 months old – the age when a child is actually the size of a Cabbage Patch Kid and looks most like the doll – though the wigs come in all sizes and can be made for adults.

Sales were most brisk around Halloween, but buzz about her creation seems to be snowballing online.

“I’ve just seen a tremendous response,” Lillie said. “Apparently it’s going viral on some of the social media websites.”

She’s been moved by some of the ways her customers have used the wigs. One woman who works in a daycare center is planning to wear one on the job to amuse the kids. Another customer makes them for children who have cancer and have lost their hair because of chemotherapy.

“I thought that was just amazing,” Lillie said. “That was just the sweetest, endearing thing I’ve ever heard.”

Meanwhile, she’s preparing for her baby girl’s arrival in the fall and her first Halloween. She’ll be wearing a Cabbage Patch Kids wig, of course.

http://www.today.com/moms/cabbage-patch-kids-wigs-babies-go-viral-6C10350466

helping

a variety of people are helping me get through this hard time

john - just keeping things normal on a regular basis. even helps.
the lady at zinc details - she shared her own challenges and gave me enlightenment that this could all be part of a bigger plan
matt - regularly checking in with me
rebecca - true understanding and support
sam - listened
adam - sharing my connection to helping someone i didn't even know i had any connection to
dogs - unconditionally making me feel happier


pretty much there are only a few people who will even understand what all of this means.
i am grateful

oh gosh ellen - you helped me get an understanding, you validated my thoughts and you gave me some really good advice.


thank you all.

wise words from elizabeth gilbert

QUESTION OF THE DAY: WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOUR YOUNGER SELF GIVE TO YOU?

Good morning, Dear Ones!

I found this photo of myself the other day from 1988: A little baby semi-adult person, 19 years old, who had not yet grown into herself (or her nose!) and who was desperately yearning for every possible life experience — but uncertain of how to get it. She is somewhat unfamiliar to me, this girl. I can barely remember her. Generally speaking, when I look back on age 19 (which I try not to do!) all I can recall are the blunders.

But I got to thinking about how, not very long ago on this page, I posed the question: WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO YOUR YOUNGER SELF...and I thought it would be interesting to turn that question around: What advice would your younger self give to YOU? Can we ponder for a moment what the earlier versions of ourselves might have to teach us?

So I looked at this picture and asked 19 year-old Liz, "What do you want me to know? What do you want me to remember? What do you want to set me straight about?"

And here is what she said: "Lady, all I ever wanted was to see the world and be a writer. I had no idea how to do either of those things — but that's all I wanted, and so I threw myself into the world and I threw myself into that work. You have been lucky enough to have had the all experiences that I so desperately prayed for. You have been able to travel, and you have been able to write — beyond even my wildest dreams. So first of all, lady, please — BE GRATEFUL. Don't be caught complaining about ANYTHING in your life. Because the life you have is the one that I always wanted. You may not remember anymore what it feels like to want, to be stuck, to be broke, to be naive, to be doubtful, to be hungry — but remember that all I ever felt was hunger, and that urgency lit the fire that ignited your whole existence. Everything that you have ever achieved or received came out of my desires. You might want to thank me for that sometimes, rather than always looking backward in judgment at me, embarrassed over things that I did not yet know, or ashamed of the mistakes that I made in youthful ignorance. I did not have your wisdom yet, to be sure, but that's only because I didn't have your experience. I might have been clumsy and foolish, but I was earnest. What I did have at age 19 was a wide-open mind, a curious heart, a yearning for the world, and the balls to go out there looking for life. And those qualities brought you right here, right to the very nice and rewarding and comfortable place that you currently inhabit. SO...YOU'RE WELCOME, lady. You're welcome."

Wow. I didn't realize she had so much to say! I also didn't realize how ungrateful I had been toward her, and how ungracious. (All I ever want to do is go back and fix her faults. But maybe I should leave her alone.) Sorry, 19 year old Liz! I will never defame you again!

So tell me, everyone...what does your younger self want to let you know? Go find an old photo and look closely. Who was that person? What amends do the two of you (then and now) have to make with each others? What messages need to be sent across time?

Do tell!

All love,
Liz