you gotta be you

i sometimes envy the people who don't care what people think about them. this past year has gotten me to take a long hard look at this quality. plain and simple...i care what people think. i always wanted to be the good student, the good employee, the good friend, the good sister, the good child. but that was always based on getting approval from the other person...teacher, boss, friend, parent, etc. it can be anything from the small stuff to the big stuff, doesn't matter. i hate it. over the holidays i learned that a family member thought i was bragging when i wrote about my travel adventures in europe. gosh, that was the farthest from my intention. i thought i should be thankful for the amazing events and by sharing i was showing thankfulness. of course after hearing this i started obsessing about what i could have said or done differently to convey this. that turned into an obsession about how could my family member not know me better. wow, right? all based on one person's small statement...that i wasn't even present for! it is exhausting.
starting a business has really brought this to light. some think this has been just this light easy change for me. not at all. i love it and i am excited about it but there have times where i have felt so alone that i thought i must be nuts. on the one hand, you have people who tell me the changes i am making have gotten them to look at their life choices. that is so great. on the other hand, i have had a couple of people tell me to go basically go away. that is so not great. i can't tell you how hard that it is. but i need to respect their wishes and so have done just that.
i know deep down in my gut that i am doing the right thing and truly the only person that matters in this equation is me. it is one of those hard life lessons that i am learning at 44. maybe i should just start dressing up like lady gaga and throw caution to the wind!
so my tip for you...one way to cut down on the amount of clothes you have "dress for the person you are, not the person you want to be". (or for that matter the person you think others want you to be!)