losing weight

so all the talk shows are featuring segments on losing weight...from dr. oz to the view and every one in between. they all seem to be plugging the same products. and the big plus is they say you don't have to change what you eat nor do you have to exercise. hmmm really? each "expert"calls them super foods.
ok i'm game. i am going to buy 4 of the supplements and put them to the test. i will get a 60 day supply. i will keep you posted.
now i am off to the store...time get candy for the kiddies.
happy halloween.

holy C-R-A-P

it is going to be a seriously long time before i even consider drinking alcohol again.
that session did me in.
it has take a full 48 hours to even being close to feeling normal again.
i lost two days.
unacceptable.
this ill feeling was self inflicted.
i have learned that lesson.
i am ready to join the living.
namaste.

i lost sunday

i went out with my girlfriends saturday night and as a result i lost yesterday...how? with a big fat ugly hangover.
alcohol is not a go to thing for me. it does not occur in my regular life. so when you get a couple drinks in me, my sense of judgement and reality go right out the window. the poison of choice was red bull and vodka. it got so bad that sunday morning i was dry heaving in my friend's bathroom. i know pretty picture right? we are now two days later. the headache continues although thankfully is backing off. the digestive system is still re-booting itself back to normal. i am on the mend. thank you god. that is not going to happen to me again for a long time.
the take away as i always know. me and alcohol are not a good mix. the east coast is getting hit by hurricane sandy. thankfully my hurricane is passing.
sobriety and me...perfect together.

random thoughts

random thoughts on a pretty saturday morning.

1. maybe i should have a them set for each day i write i.e. saturday random thoughts day, sunday ideas for the week, monday health tips. would this make it easier to write every day?
2. i am wearing my more fitted pair of jeans today and have gotten several compliments before 8 am that i look great. i guess i do wear my clothes slightly large.
3. giants are in the world series. glad i have my orange and black on. go giants.
4. the guy sitting outside next to me at peet's coffee is moving all the furniture around. i remember him as always sitting in the corner. oh wait the guy who was at this dude's normal spot just got up and furniture mover has relocated there. he also rearranged all the chairs in his view. ADD?
5. my bills this month have exceeded the amount i brought in. if only it could be that i was shopping a lot. nope i had a few people cancel for my retreat and i had to refund money. hate that.
6. john's mom is coming to town for a week. i need to clean the house, buy groceries, cook meals in advance.
7. i hope obama wins the election.
8. john's birthday is coming up. i have been looking at all sorts of things for gifts and just can't figure out the right thing. self inflicted pressure. i hate that.
9. i think my organizing business is evolving into something else. what?
10. if i am going to have successful yoga retreats, i need to teach some yoga classes locally in sf. but maybe i branch out beyond the bikram schools. yttp? yoga tree?
11. i gotta start working on my websites, my newsletters.

in just a matter of a few minutes the above spewed out of my. enough. i think i need to sit back, enjoy drinking my coffee and this very pretty morning.

namaste.

working for your money

i hate the stress of making money.
i like the stress of working.
huh?
the money thing is just an on going pain in the neck. one client comes and you make money. woo hoo. and then one client cancels and you lose money.
off to work.
today is a good day.

focusing on food

i used to think that if i just ate whatever i wanted with out thinking too much about it, it meant that i had a good connection to my overall health and a non-obsession with my diet. i never wanted to be a person who was always on a diet. but as i get older i am learning the importance of paying attention to what i eat. basically making sure i get what i need for good health and enjoying those choices. the idea of just winging it doesn't work for me. because when i don't pay attention i find myself having huge swings from starving to stuffed. there is no normal happy middle. funny....took me 47 years to figure that one out.

am i having a mid life crisis?

over the past month i have had a variety of negative thoughts running through my head...everything from  "i am a failure in my businesses" to "i am old and ugly". perhaps it has to do that i work for myself. i am my boss, my employee and my co-worker.  sure i have interaction with my clients and they rave about my work but it is different than when you actually work with other people. sometimes i think i would have a better perspective if i worked with other people. for one thing i would hear about the their daily woes. nothing like a good reality check than hearing about someone else's life.
but that is not my path. at least for now. i know that i can not dwell in this stew of my own making and i need to just keep moving ahead regardless of what my brain and my eyes are telling me. ok back to reality. happy wednesday.

is it that time of year again?

i was just thinking about resolutions that people make at the start of the year. of course the number one resolution seems to be lose weight. so at what time of the year do we start gaining all the weight we want to lose january 1? right now. that time between halloween and december 31st. it starts with the halloween candy for trick or treaters and ends with holiday cookies at christmas.
i live in an area where you get maybe a handful of kids coming to get candy. but i am still compelled every year to get a bag of some kind of chocolate gooey candy thing.  who is this candy real for? me and my husband.
following halloween we then move on to my husband's birthday quickly followed by the national food fest also known as thanksgiving - this brings us merrily along to holiday parties and of course the ultimate holiday, christmas. i can remember one christmas week at my mother in law's home where i think i ate chocolate chips (many of them) every day throughout out the day!
so if i don't want to join the new year's resolution weight loss group, i need to start paying attention to what i eat right now....everything in moderation.
ok, i am off to yoga class.

ever feel ugly?

i have been going through a case of the uglies lately. it could have to do with the fact that i just spent a week on the beach with a woman 20 years younger who is stunningly gorgeous.
what do my uglies look like? grey hair that i can't decide whether to keep or color. brown age spots on my forehead, knitted lines between my brows. one word...old.
sure i can say i look good for my age but i want to just look good and leave out the "for my age". yes, this is a stupid vain ridiculous post.
next.

hello tuesday

good  morning tuesday. i am looking at my list of things to do and the first item on the list is to blog. but what if i have nothing to say? what if i have no profound thoughts? yep, the pretty much sums up what my tuesday morning at 7:51 looks like. hmmm.
ok, well plan b just focus on what you want to accomplish today. take a yoga class. eat a few healthy meals. have a few laughs. call my mom. contact housing cleaning service to come clean my apartment. pretty regular normal day.
happy tuesday people. hopefully tomorrow i will have something to talk about.

gotta get back on track

home from vacation and right back into work. that meant a full day today organizing a home. 8 hours. no food. so that means i just ate one big meal that will cover the entire day. not good.
ok, tomorrow i promise myself i am back to my regular routine and that means starting with breakfast.

can't eat that

i never could understand when older people would eat a few bites of food on their plate and say then couldn't eat anymore..especially foods that used to be treats like ice cream or cake n. how was this possible? i really didn't believe it...until now.
john and i got home from vacation last night and went out to a late night diner for a bite to eat. as i was in still in vacation mode i thought yeah i am going to have fun. i ordered grilled cheese, fries, and a chocolate milk shake. now mind you i started the meal consuming the shake so that pushed me over the edge but still...
i had consumed half of the shake, half of the grilled cheese and a handful of fries when i hit the wall. i could eat no more. i no longer wanted anymore. i don't think that has ever happened to me before. even if i felt full i still ate. these are fav comfort foods to me and i just stopped.
oh my gosh the strange syndrome has hit me too. well if seeing is believing i can now say I BELIEVE.
time for my morning coffee to move that stuff along.
happy sunday.

what did we do before technology?

so paper back books are up one on the digital age vs old school age challenge. i am in currently in mexico for my yoga retreat and have read all the books i downloaded on to my kindle. and now...my kindle will not allow me to connect to amazon to download a book. arch. turns out i have a 2nd generation that does not connect via wifi but instead by cell. no cell range here or spotty at best.  for now old school wins.

update...thank goodness technology is smarter than me. i can download the novel via wifi to my computer and then using a usb cable i can add the book to my cable.
yay!

phew...back in business.

this is not going to be easy

we all know that saying and doing are two totally different things. recently i posted that i was going to cut out artificial sweeteners - mainly splenda in my coffee and trident gum. and of course when i wrote that i had that kind of superior thought in my mind that i have already accomplished that. ha ha ha. that is funny.
now i am in mexico and brought a supply of splenda thinking this would be the last of it and by the time i returned home i would be off the stuff. quickly i forgot that when coffee is readily at hand like it is here at the retreat center i am consuming way more than at home and with that my supply of splenda. i just looked at my stash and realized it is getting low. i have 4 more days to go so i need to really spread it out to last. yeah, that is not the thought process of a person who has kicked the habit. darn it. i love to think of myself as this super power that can get through anything and yet this little yellow packet of poison is my achilles heel . i hate that.
as for the gum, well i don't have any with me so that is out of the question...but i must confess i miss it.
when i get home i better find that truvia stuff people keep telling me about as well as the healthy kind of gum. unlike smoking cigarettes this fake sugar thing is not going to be an easy habit to kick.
so for now i am still on the splenda crack!

ideas are flowing

i have really taken the to the idea that i need to be "open minded" and the universe will tell me what to do.
and the universe told me a couple things recently that i don't want to forget.
1. make a website that provides and umbrella to my different businesses. my first site was www.andreawait.com. sure it says my name but it doesn't tell what i do. then i thought well all my business have something to do with me...www.withandrea.com. . now being in mexico i am reminded of phrase that my friend rafi coined...what would andrea say? i am taking that one step further...what would andrea do? and to simplify that www.wwad.com. playing with that in my mind.
2. i should do a newsletter which could incorporate all of the above...organizing tips, yoga retreat info, yoga tips, vegetarian recipes...keeping if fun and light. i have played with writing - this blog, the outline of a book but who am i kidding? i am not a natural writer and yet i have things to say. newsletter, yeah that sounds right.

hmmm...yep, the ideas are flowing.
namaste.

support system

as the youngest of five, i took it upon myself that when ever i attempted to learn something new or was faced by a challenging situation i would handle it out on my own. now like any other family growing up i found there were a variety of pressures that i witnessed. as a result i decided early on that i didn't want to add to those stresses with my own little problems. i would take care of myself. i can still hear in my head my mother saying "sometimes people just want to help you out". that statement unfortunately was usually followed by an exchange of words that included anger and tears. that deepened the desire of mine to hide any problems i may have been struggling with. i perfected this pattern over the last 47 years of my life. slowly and i will say that again, slowly i have learned that this approach does not serve me nor the people who love me.
having been in the process over attempting to launch two business - and yes mostly i have done this on my own - i have that every now and again i get hit hard with a variety of challenges and need help. from my husband and my two friends rebecca and samantha i have gotten practical advice (setting up websites, advertising) to emotional support (no andrea you are not a loser) which has been key for my moving forward. i am sure i will continue to "do it on my own" but i am grateful to them when i need to be picked up and set back on my path.

four letter word changed my life

i love my style of vacation!
i am getting so excited to head to mexico for my yoga retreat. woo hoo. sun, beach, pool, massage, awesome people, yoga, and incredibly tasty healthy chef prepared meals.
yoga. thank you.

expectations

i want to stop being so hard on myself and to start applauding myself.
when i do, plan, work something. i set a standard of expectations for the results. now when it doesn't turn out to the level i expect i feel like a complete failure. and when i actually meet or even exceed that expectation i rarely acknowledge it.
i have to let go of the idea that i can control everything including the outcome of a situation. i can only do my best and that is more than enough...but gosh sometimes that is hard to do.

sheep

counting sheep didn't work. instead i remembered to just be in the present moment. focus on what is happening now. so when i couldn't sleep i just looked at the present moment. relaxing in bed. slowing breathing down. and voila...sleep.

worry part 2

well i liked the idea of focusing on yoga postures when is started to spin worries in my mind before sleep...but...it didn't work. why? well yoga postures made me think about yoga which made me think about my retreat and then my mind was off and running on all the worries associated with that.
i am thinking that must be how the idea of counting sheep came in to play as it probably doesn't connect to any of our worries.
i will try that one tonight and get back to you on it.

artificial sweeteners

home sick on monday and was watching dr. oz show on artificial sweeteners. i have always known that  they are not good for me but wasn't aware of the immediate impact. i have splenda in my coffee and i chew trident gum. didn't seem to terrible until i watched the show.  this is just one side effect.

Could They Be Causing My Bathroom Troubles?
Artificial sweeteners can cause you to go to the bathroom more often. They may cause the muscles in your bladder to become hyperactive – forcing you to urinate more frequently. Even one packet might be enough to cause you to urinate more frequently than normal. This can eventually wear out the bladder, increasing your risk for urinary tract infections and urge incontinence.

since i started drinking coffee 7 years ago i found that i go to the bathroom a lot at night. i thought it had to do with the fact that i was in my 40s. now i am thinking differently.

so...this is my last month on this stuff. the weening process starts now. wish me luck. 

worry

do you worry about different scenarios of potential problems in your mind? i do and i find it super exhausting. so for this week i am going to make a conscious choice to not do that. anytime i start whirling around one in my head (usually happens when i am trying to go to sleep) i am going to stop and picture myself doing a yoga posture. i will start with the first one in the bikram series and go from there.
i will report back on how i do.

getting older

one of the things i like so much about getting older is the freedom to be myself and not worry how i look to others. yesterday, my husband john and i took in some of the events that were happening in sf. happily we decided to set off on foot rather than even attempt dealing with traffic and parking. that meant searing sneakers, t-shirts, basically comfortable clothes. along the way we passed many people that were also taking in the events of the day. and the one thing i noticed over and over was how the young women looked so stylish and put together. normally that would make me feel like a schlump. but today no way. i kept looking at the shoes - pretty but so no meant for all the walking that was being done to the different locations. so i just settled back into my sneakers, enjoyed the views of the jets and the boats and thought...yep, this getting older part works for me.
happy sunday people.

sick

so all that speculation as to what was causing the massive headaches...final answer...i was getting sick. ha ha. kind of funny. trying to analyze it from every which way instead of looking directly in front of my face. and i think that is the problem for many of us. we look to everything else first rather than the obvious. lesson learned. good night people. this sick girl is going to bed.

words that impact me...no more

it is normal for people to make comments about your person - physical, mental and emotional. so it always amazing at the ones that stay with you. i have a bunch that whirl around in my head and perhaps by just writing them down i will let them go. here are the ones that come right to my head.

you're too sensitive
you are such a success

you say the word change too many times

i hate when you make change

you always do that

you're so much happier now

i like this kind of andrea better than that kind of andrea

why do you have to be that way


i think i can now retire them from my mind.
that feels a lot better.

stress

at this moment (hours after first drafting this blog) i have a total head ache and just don't have the energy to proof read so i am just going to press publish. apologies for typos, grammar and possible "what the heck does this mean"?!


i mentioned yesterday having an ongoing headache. sucks. but i made the connection to my diet. now i make the connection to my stress.
what do i stress about?
being a good wife
making a success of my businesses
paying bills
saving money
my mom getting older
my family members individually and collectively
my friends - whatever their stress are get added to my list
the friendships that that really don't work for me
looking old
being a helpful influence to other people
living a good life of service to others
not focusing on the important stuff of life
looking current
realizing how stupid that last comment is
my husband being recognized for all that is amazing about him
doing my job to the best and highest quality that i can
spirit
god
gas prices
obama getting re-elected
the rights of all people
making a nice home for my husband
spending quality time with loved ones

that is just off the top of my head.
and what i surmise from this.

i need to stop worrying and start getting some serious gratitude.

it is all in how you feel

been away for the last 5 days and out of my normal eating element. almost felt like i was being held hostage. and as a result i wasn't eating my regular routine. end result, i have had a headache for 5 days. of course it could be a result of many other things but for some reason it keeps coming back to my diet. i am back to my normal so hopefully i will start to feel better as well.
fingers crossed.