i just might have to quit

well no, not really. but gosh this is hard. not the food part. the writing part. how do people do this as a job? i just can't come up with thoughts every day. oh well. my only food thought is that my two dutch friends at different times have told me that i need to eat more warm food. they notice i eat lots of cold temp food...yogurt, fruit, salads, etc. i think i make up for that feeling with ht coffee. i have no idea what it means but i am now noticing it. ok well i guess that's my food thought for the day.

day 51

on day 51 i don't think there is much to say. yeah i have crossed over the half way mark but i am still in the middle of it. and well it's tuesday. i am just plugging along. and well it's a grey day. yep, it's oifficial. nothing to say. but at least i said that!

50

i should probably edit and spell check what i have written below but i am just too tired. hope it is ok.

so on day 50 i have an aha moment.
people in the clothing business say that a large percentage of women wear the wrong size bra. i am going to take that one step further and say many women wear the wrong size clothes...either too big (i am known for this one) or too small (you know the button down shirt that puckers just enough to show bra?).
i am noticing that perhaps in the last year my clothes, specifically my jeans, were getting a little shall we say a bit tight. women's jeans are usually made with lycra so the difference in how they fit just out of the dryer versus day three of wear can be entirely different. what i have been noticing is that my jeans were feeling a bit more on the snug sie post out of the dryer and my mind kept saying that the dryer must be shrinking them. after a few years of ownership i just don't think that is possible. but by day three of wear well they felt just right. i also was not complaining because i could get longer wear out of them. but now 50 days in, they are fitting comfortably just out of the dryer and day 3...well they are just too big.
yep, i was a little in denial about the expanded waist band and thankfully now well i think everything is just the right size. so for now i think my clothes fit just right.
thank goodness for day 50.

i don't do well with this question...

friend - "so have you lost a lot of weight?"
me - well, um you haven't seen me in a few weeks...what do you think?"

when people ask me the weight question, i really have no idea what to say. you see it usually comes from someone that only sees me once in a while. if i have lost a lot of weight wouldn't they see it?

seems like a strange question...but what do i know...i still have 7 weeks and two days to go. maybe i will learn a better answer.

nothing to report

so i am at a point where i have to remind myself to write down on the calendar what day i am on. in the beginning i anticipated of the food experiment i looked forward to this. in the beginning i recorded the number as a count down of days to go. but when i changed the calendar to the new month i decided to record the number as to days completed. but now i have to remind myself just to do it. i guess (for now) this food experiment is my norm. but notice that i say "for now". i suspect that will change as i cross over day 50 (monday) and into the home stretch.

triggers

i was doing the laundry at the Laundromat and like most times, also chatting with a stranger. this lady first shared her relationship experiences and then got into the topic of triggers to her sobriety. she is a recovering alcoholic and one of her her triggers is ginger ale. she said that when it hits the back of her throat she could also feel her throat burn similar to when she drank whiskey. former whiskey and soda drinker. the soda triggered the sensation of drinking alcohol. hmmm. do i have food triggers? you betcha.
i wanted to bake cookies for my husband's work retreat. the more i thought about it...the more i realized i couldn't do it. who doesn't eat the batter? and then the smell when they came out of the oven? no way. i have no control.
yesterday, i walked near this great pizza place and thought...i should get a pie for john. but as i walked up to the front door i could see this guy eating a just of the oven long garlic bread roll. it looked crazy good. i immediately turned around and thought nope, can't do that.
so yes, i have triggers. who knew?!

DOH

i am so silly. i have been thinking to myself lately that i with this experiment i eat all the time. today...light bulb effect. i realized the things i'm eating are...bananas, nuts, yogurt, apples.
as homer simpson would say...DOH!

donner lake

typically going to our house in donner means relaxing, eating, drinking, hiking, swimming, eating, drinking. you get the idea. this past weekend john and i were up there with a bunch of friends. that definitely means eating and drinking. the drinking part has never been that big for me. i can take it holiday i made a red velvet cake. sugar is around.
when i arrived saturday morning to the house, i was greeted in the kitchen by a plate of chocolate chip cookies. thankfully i came prepared with a bunch of different choices. and eventually this camei n hand. saturday everyone was out doing a variety of things so by saturday night, no one was up for cooking. due to the experiment i thankfully had my own food items. so while all the guests were off to town to scavenge for food, i just whipped myself up a tasty vegetarian meal. ahhhhh. so nice. i was hungry and i had food. thank you food experiment. i am learning to experience different situations and have solutions for them.

changing how i eat

well my arm is still bothering so i am just going to type one thought this morning. and truly i only have one thought as i haven't had my morning cup of coffee.
i love the morning. it is so easy to start the day and think that i am going to be really good and that this experiment is not a problem. then the hours of 2pm - 4pm hit and i'm thinking what can i eat. so i am trying a different solution - a banana for one hour, nuts for another hour, etc. i finally understand what people mean by eating little meals throughout the day. who knew this would happen but i am changing the way i eat.

on the injured list

my arm is still not healed so just a few words today.
loving that it is monday. start of a new fresh week on my program. everything seems possible. and after this week, i am at the half way mark. woo hoo.
ok, good luck to all of you setting goals today. go out and get 'em.
happy monday.

few words today

wish i could write more but i have hurt my left forearm and typing doesn't help it. so, gotta cut to the chase. today is day 42. yep, 6 weeks. one more week and i am half way there. little by little i am getting there. woo hoo.
ok, i got a sign off. hopefully tomorrow will be better for my arm. happy sunday.

planning ahead worked

i have always heard that it is best to eat before going to parties so as to not overeat. i didn't really believe it until last night. my friend had a party and you know how dangerous parties can be when trying to be on a food plan. i imagined there would be fruits and vegies as well as a variety of sugary fun treats. so before i left my house i decided to put the eat beforehand idea to a test. i had a healthy tasty fulfilling meal. sure enough, i had no desire to indulge in all the savory items being served. in fact it was nice to just chat with people and not have to maneuver the holding of the drink and the food item. it all looked great but i was able to just pass it by. success. happy day 41.

i have to be creative

i don't know if you remember but a while back i wrote about experimenting with fake chicken...yuck. well, today i am trying fake hot dogs. the directions said to boil water. turn off heat. add hot dog. let it sit in water for two minutes. did that. taste? again, yuck. oh, and it said to make sure to not over cook. as if that would make a difference. well i decided i had nothing to lose so i tried something else. i got out a pan, butter and added cut up the fake warm hot dog. turned on the heat and got some sizzle. then added to the mixture...beans. i remember this as a fav from childhood. hot dogs and beans. well this is my new version. fake hot dog. no bun. black beans. the outcome. pretty darn tasty. is this a meal i would have all the time? no. but for a quick little fill me up. it hit the spot. i still think the fake meat industry has a ways to go but for now i am working with i got.

dr. oz

the number one food dr. oz wants out of our house...sugar (watched this program tuesday night). the average person has four times the amount of sugar he/she needs.
why is it so bad?
- people who consume higher quantities of sugar have a lower good cholesterol and higher triglyceride, LBS...basically the the bad cholesterol which causes increased cardiovascular disease risk. sugar converts to triglyceride which is stored as omentum fat...the way bad kind of fat.
- sugar causes liver disease...sugar gets in to the liver and spikes the insulin which causes cirrhosis of the liver (behaves similar to alcohol)
- insulin spikes so high the cells become insulin resistant. the blood instead of the cells will then have process the sugar as the cells are insulin resistant. and when that happns the cells can no longer use the sugar to give us energy. this process can lead to the hardening of the artery. end results increased weight gain, body fat and diabetes.
those are just a few things highlighted but i think you get the picture.
sugar can be so yummy...m&m's, cupcakes, ice cream....but for now, i am giving it a time out!

hate to be a pain but can i have...

before i became a vegetarian, i kind of prided myself that i can eat anything. part of it was that i never wanted to inconvenience anyone. maybe that has to do with being the youngest in the family. i just never wanted to rock the boat. but then i decided i liked animals too much to want to eat them. some people had reactions that were not completely positive. they told me they didn't like the change. so again, i tried to always make sure that my non-meat eating ways didn't bother anyone. in fact, in new eating situations, i often wouldn't say that i was a vegetarian. well now with my experiment, it can not be avoided...i am high maintenance when it comes to food. john and i went to our friends for dinner and i had to fess up in advance all of my food restrictions. i felt embarrassed. i felt uncomfortable. i even apologized. to my surprise, they were so kind and the chef said he liked the challenge. fortunately, i eat seafood so that was the base of the meal.
i am amazed by the people who can just put their needs out to the world. no worries of what people will think. i am slowly learning how to do that. it took me to the age of 46 to figure that out. of course, i occasionally have a set back when met by someone who points out my "food needs" but i am learning to smile and not feel the need to react.
alright i think i am beginning to see some results from this experiment.

hungry

there is a fine line between having energy from food and still being in digestion, while taking a yoga class. yesterday i was in the energy mode. i ate a good breakfast (yogurt fruit) in the early morning and then took noon yoga class. basically yoga for lunch. i felt so good after class that i was motivated to do some errands. the problem...i was maybe a tiny bit hungry and by the time i finished my work at kinko's in daly city i was HUNGRY. i am not in familiar territory. home seems way far away. and, i need food right then and there. i scanned the outdoor shopping center. there must be something...right?...wrong. looking at burger king, honey baked ham, and quizonos. ugh. we need more healthy fast serving food. i noticed the last time i was in nyc there were many quick food places with awesome healthy choices. unfortunately that is not high on the list for daly city. the end result was i went to quiznos and had a salad with none of their toppings and no bread. i noticed the guys all said something in spanish after i ordered and had a great laugh. oh well. thankfully the greens tied me over until i got home. now i know or rather i was reminded once again that i need to carry some little snacks for things like that post yoga class hunger.
hopefully today i will have it down a little better.

it is a beautiful morning.

hello monday morning. beautiful day here in sf. seeing kids with backpacks and school buses. even feels a little crisp in the air. of course i still want to hold on to summer as long as possible but the change in the air also signals to me that i am getting closer to reaching my goal. 5 weeks complete!
however, i did have a strange experience last night. my brother in law is visiting and i was thinking about going out early today and getting us both coffee. then i thought i should get him something to eat. don't think he will want my yogurt and fruit combo. ok i will get him coffee and one of the pastries at the coffee shop. that just got my mind whirling thinking of all the pastries. i think my mouth was watering. thankfully i finally fell asleep. but wow, it went for a while.
today is new and i am happy having my coffee, yogurt and fruit.
happy monday.

oops

went to my friend elena's birthday last night. held at a swanky kind of bar with swanky kinds of drinks. day later. those drinks must have had sugar in them. damn. oh i mean oops. i didn't cheat but sugar was had. via alcohol. oh well. no biggie. moving on...the experiment continues.
noticeable results today. it seems like my clothes feel slightly hanging on me in that drapey kind of way. not completely sure but i think so.
day 35...5 weeks...congrats to me.
happy sunday.

funny enough

Per yesterday's post...
Another friend says. "Wow, you lost a lot of weight "
Strangely that gives me this an empowered feeling.
I know. Dumb but true.

perfect just the way i am but if i can put in a request...

got a voice mail message from my friend "hey dude, can't believe haven't seen you in so long. you must be super skinny".
first thought...does she think i am over weight?
second thought...my other friend told me over the week that i am in great shape.
third thought...who is right?

so today in yoga class i looked right at my whole self in the mirror. for the most part i would have to say i think i am just right. if i had this same body for the rest of my life, i could live with that and be completely satisfied. but...the one thing my eye has a tendency to go to in the mirror is that little flap of skin that hangs over the short line. kind of like a wrinkle in a shirt. so if i had to request one thing from this no bread, rice, pasta, sugar thing is that the wrinkle goes away!

will that happen? i don't know. but if i can put out requests, i think i will go for that.

getting the support i need

i am so lucky to have an amazing husband. in the past, whenever i have attempted different challenges i basically just took it on myself. but this time i am doing things different. i have asked my husband for his support, even writing down for him the foods i am not eating. he has been incredibly helpful. last night, after a long work day, a softball game and a workout, he went to the grocery store and got me all my essential foods. some of my friends have even jumped on the bandwagon to help me out. i am meeting my friend rebecca for dinner tonight and she picked the place...pluto's (which is just another word for awesome salad place). i know ultimately it is up to me to finish the 100 challenge but part of my success will be due to the support from the people i love.

yoga part 2

i was reading in one of my organizing books that when you accomplish a goal you should reward yourself with a treat. now for hoarders the treat should not be buying some "thing". so does that mean that when i accomplish my goal i shouldn't treat myself to a red velvet cake? ok gotta come up with a back up idea...i got it.
day 101 will be spent in pittsfield vermont. why pittsfield vermont? well i will teach yoga at my friend liz' bikram school and take yoga class everyday. my friends liz and anthony are vegetarians. the real kind. anthony has never even eaten meat! open their refrigerator door and you will basically find the ingredients for an amazing salad. the last time i was there i felt like i was at one of those cleanse places people spend too much money to go to. plus it will just be beautiful to be there. liz and anthony live in a forest. so amazing. i'm going to end this experiment on a super healthy note. friends, yoga and fall in vermont.

yoga

The one thing I'm beginning to notice is that my yoga practice is feeling a lot smoother. It feels like chunks of stiffness are breaking away from my joints. Movement is more fluid and I can focus on the technique of the postures. Now is this happeninh because my mind has convinced me the body moves better without sugar or is this really what happens? Perhaps it's both. If that's the case I'm looking forward to day 100 and the yoga class I take that day. For now I'm enjoying the comfortable fit of clothing and the freedom of movement.
Namaste.

looking for change

When I was a kid i would go to a friend's house for a sleep over and when I got home I would somehow expect my room to have changed. I don't know why I thought that but I really expected to find something different. That is how I feel now. I'm four weeks and 1 day into this and I'm waiting for someone to say you look different. I have even tried to force the issue by making physical changes...cutting my hair, coloring it. Nothing. Of course I rationalize in my mind that I see the same people all the time so they wouldn't notice. I know that's not true. Once again I'm reminded of my initial goal which is to get me to write. How quickly I lose sight of that.
New day, new week, new experiences and...no bread, rice, pasta, sugar. Happy Monday.

i am not sure about this

ok, i have been given a solution to the treat dilemma. my friend rebecca took me to her favorite frozen yogurt place and yes, they had sugar free flavors. i am still a bit skeptical as to what they put into it to substitute for the sugar but have to say it was pretty tasty. i am born of the thought that if it is too good to be true than it probably is...time for some research on this.
happy sunday.

day 28=4 weeks

sometimes when i am typing this i wonder, oh i can't say that because someone will get mad or think it is stupid. but then i am editing myself and feeding into a stupid insecurity. screw it. here goes...
woo hoo today is day 28, congrats to me. i rock.
ok, now back to reality...10 weeks and 2 days to go. (my version of the 26.2).

day 27

i am struggling with desserts and treats. it doesn't happen that often but when the craving comes for something fun, it is pretty immediate. and unlike regular meals, this is something i don't plan. now when the feeling comes i don't know what i can eat. everything that's fun to eat has sugar and/or flour. so here i am wanting something fun, immediate and i don't know what to have. i know that is a high class problem especially since there is a commercial on about starving children. nonetheless it is my current dilemna. for now i have had back ups of decaf coffee with milk, and sugarless gum but certainly that is not enough. as a kid my mom would have said to eat an apple but that is part of my regular meals.
guess i need to do some research on what vegans eat for treats. that never sounds good. my friend once made a vegan cheesecake and no offense, it was awful. but who knows maybe recipes have gotten better. i will keep you posted.

keep in mind i still am not well...so if sounds stupid...

I have come to realise that i had s little bug and not food poisoning. yesterday was still feeling low so all things i planned to do got put to the side. basically i was horizontal for most of the day watching millionaire matchmaker. my friend rebecca seems to use this lady as a reference so i had to investigate for myself. i have lots of thoughts and opinions about that but really who cares. enough said. in addition to my stomach issues, my left arm is also giving me some aches and pains. thankfully john recently won a gift certificate for a massage so i used right up. the massage therapist really dug into the tendon (yes, i asked her to do that)and loosened it up. have a nice bruise on my arm to prove it.
now it is a new day and my energy level is still a bit low. thankfully no organizing until Sunday. i can use today to prep my first ever teleclass on organizing, take a steam at the kabuki spa, and take my husband to see planet of the apes. nice healing day right?
what is my thought about the food experiment for today?
the go to foods for stomach ailments...toast and/or crachers! yep, they're on my do not eat list. is this what dieting people go thru all the time? no wonder diets are difficult.
so what did i eat yesterday? well i had to be creative. i wanted simple and bland. i had a hard boiled egg (mostly the white part) and later on a banana. have to say it worked out fine. gave me energy and had no after effect.
but maybe that is it. if we choose to make a change such as diet, then we better have a plan to deal with those kinds of challenges. i know it sounds annoying to bring food wherever you go but if the desire to meet the goal is stronger than that perhaps is a good enough motivation. i like that.

the difference in a day

amazing how quickly things can change from one day to the next. one day i am feeling all good about myself. i'm feeling a little over confident perhaps. i have been sticking to my experiment and noticing all the changes but then something happens...all hell breaks loose.
first of all some where along the way i hurt my left arm and it aches bad. probably from what i am doing right now...typing on my little computer. then last night i make myself a nice little salad dinner. i even admired how great i am at making delicious salads. then an hour later the world turns upside down. i had at least 7 rounds of vomit sessions for a total of probably 35 pukes. i can't even tell you what came out of me because nothing resembled salad. wait, is my body detoxing? hmmmm. seems suspect as i have been on this for 25 days. who knows. so now i lie in bed, sip water, and notice that my arm hurts and my stomach feels just not right. oh no, seems like the lower part of my stomach is starting to turn.
i need to just turn this computer off and rest. i look forward to checking in tomorrow when hopefully the difference of a day brings me back to normal. fingers crossed.

i'm noticing

on a micro scale i am noticing a change. in fact, i feel like i'm melting! i have a pair of jeans that i.ve been avoiding lately as they were feeling shall we say a little snug. i know some ladies like that fitted feel but not me. i had a pair that had that little too snug feeling around the stomach and the thigh. yuck. but today i felt brave enough to just put 'em on and to my surprise not only did they go on easily but they had a looser feel!
think i'm digging the benefits of my new found eating.

showing up in the skin

ok, the compliments are starting to roll in. well actually the same compliment but from two different people. in the last two days, two people who i don't really know and see only occasionally told me the exact same thing..."andrea, you look so rested". i don't know exactly what that means but i am taking it as a compliment. thank you very much.

funny how emotions and hunger mix

having physical feelings and emotional feelings at the same time. not a good combination. the physical feeling was hunger. the emotional was disappointment. that is a prescription for...wanting to eat food on the restricted list. i guess the feeling of hunger combined with any big emotion can trigger this. thankfully i had been to the market earlier in the day so the refrigerator was stocked with all sorts of delicious happy meals...including awesome leftovers made by john.
now an hour later after having a yummy meal the down feelings have left with the hunger feelings.
i am learning that food is an emotional crutch for many things.

new day. new week.

Well it certainly is nice to be at the beginning of a new week. Always feel so successful and rejuvenated. Even better that this Monday starts the first day of the month. I am charged up and ready to take on August. New page for the calendar and I am ready to continue on with my food experiment. I can for it.
And now for a special thank you to Greg and Alison who made an awesome dinner for is last night that complied with all of my crazy dietary requirements. Very kind of you!
Happy day 22 to me.