last day

last day of the year. i went back and forth on how to make a big act of kindness today. and then this person who really needed my help appeared in front of me. while so many of us tourists walked the beaches of santa monica and took in the beauty of it all there was the homeless man lying on the sidewalk. he looked like life had really beaten him up. so much to the point that he couldn't even get up to ask for help. will my donation to him change his life? probably not. but he was such a contrast to all of us who walked by and barely saw him.
here's to extending a hand to all those who need a helping hand.

last day of the year

john and i are in pasadena, ca for the college football tournament known as the rose bowl. as i am in a different city it seems like random acts of kindness present themselves at every corner. regardless of how big or small the act is i fell so good and so complete. the gift is always rewarded back to me...and in can be anything from a smile, to a thank you to a grander god bless you. amazing feeling.
so today is the last day of the year...how should i close out the year? i don't know what will present itself but i certainly know that i will remember those individuals who left this earth to early and pray for those who were left behind.
peace be with you.

kindness acts continue

so i continue on, each day thinking of some way i can express an act of kindness to remember those who were killed in newtown, connecticut. i have done everything from large tips, to surprise gifts for strangers to giving pies. but i think yesterday was the biggest. i was hired to help a recent widow sort through his deceased wife's belongings. he is 43 year old father of a 7 year old boy who lost his 42 year old wife two weeks ago. wow right? i don't think i have adequately processed this day but i know in my heart of hearts that i was the person who was meant to be there yesterday. i am thankful that i have the qualities that i have to share with someone during what i can only imagine to be the most difficult time of his life.
so i add 6 more people to my thoughts and prayers - tanya williams may you rest in peace. dave freed may you find peace during your time of morning. drake reed may you remember your mom and how much she loved you...and to haley and your two sisters - i know your best friend/soul sister tanya is looking down on you and thanking you for caring so much about her that you wanted to help dave during this time. peace be with all of you.

unwinding

fyi...this was written a while ago. and also not edited.

holy crap. went to help organize a client who recently had a baby. i helped her pre-baby and  we were able to make a good dent in the amount of stuff she has. i could never live there but it was way better than when we started. now the baby is here and it is time to clear out the room we stored a lot of stuff in. so that meant going through boxes and bins. like the last time, we again encountered the remains of mice droppings. yuck. then there was the familiar smell from the last time. the dog of the house pees in a corner of the area we were working in. the smell. actually there are two smells in the house.
the upstairs has the smell of pasta sauce cooked last week and left in the pot sitting on a counter. and then the downstairs has doggy pee pee smell with a dash of mice droppings. and then the energy of a confined space filled with boxes of stuff.
all of this means is that when i got home i went on an organzing cleaning frenzy of my own house. first thing though i took a hot shower. then i went room to room - closet to closet - reorganizing, putting stuff away and cleaning. my house already was in great shape but now it is even better.
two hours later i am now sitting on my bed, listening to the rain, watching tv and burning a scented candle.
i am back to normal again. phew. that was close.

another pie give away

i was doing laundry (again) today and saw a lady i haven't seen in a while. we don't know each other and yet we see each other to recognize each other.  today we chatted about christmas, family, god weight loss and death. so while my clothes were drying i headed back to the bakery and picked up a pie for this kind lady. oh she gave me the biggest hug. it feels great doing acts of kindness. god bless those that died in newtown. i hope they are enjoying how many positive things from big to small. it feels really good to remember them this way.

i apologize if this does not make any sense. i just got home from an emotional day and don't have the energy to re-read/edit.

decmeber 26th

when i think of kids, or rather of my own childhood i think of eating candy. as a child, and as an adult i love/d candy. so in thinking of the children who died i decided that today would be dedicated to a fun childlike act.
on christmas eve my friend jamie brought her girlfriend christina to my holiday gaterhing. christina loved loved loved the cadbury candies i had out. she said to me "oh my gosh, these are like the solid milk eggs at christmas". believe me, i know, i ate an entire bag the previous day.  neither christina nor i had the cadbury christmas chocolates. i think this may have been the first year. anway, today i went in search of another bag of they yummy chocolates for christina. thankfully walgreens had two bags left (day after christmas sale). i secretly dropped them off at jamie's office as a surprise for christina. always fun to surprise someone. this may not be a life changing act of kindness but i think it qualifies for something that is similar to a childlike experience.

december 25th

john and i spent the entire christmas day at home in our pajamas. that meant i did not encounter any people all day. so last night as we headed out to the movies i thought this will be my only chance to practice an act of kindness outside of my home. but other than going to and from the car (which luckily parked in front of the theater) there really was nothing that inspired me. so when we got home at 11pm i felt kind of panicked that i would have to skip the day.
however as i was lying in bed i was thinking about all the movies i have seen lately and through out there has been a common thread and that was ads for st. jude's children's hospital. st. jude's provides cutting edge treatment to very sick children at absolutely no cost to the family. from time to time i have thought that i would like to donate but second guess my small donation wouldn't do much. last night i felt a change of heart that the children who were shot had no chance so i needed to help those that do. my donation may not be large but i believe every dollar can make a difference. done.
i immediately got up. opened my computer. went to st. jude's site and amazingly the first donation option was what i was planning to give. i checked the box and before i knew it, i had donated to st. jude's hospital.
i am glad that in my small way i can be a part of something so large and so good.
merry christmas.

M.C.

merry christmas!!!
so enjoying this holiday morning. presents. food. family. friends. it is such a nice holiday.
my girlfriend did ask the big question...what is your big goal/plan for the year? thankfully she answered first followed by john. and then we went to talking about something else so i dodged that bullet. i have no idea and truthfully i don't feel like dealing with it. i probably have an answer but heck i don't feel thinking with that.
instead i am focusing on the random act of kindness. i mean heck today is christmas so the last person i should be thinking about is myself. i already got so many nice things from my husband and my friends. so what will it be? i have to hope it presents itself when we go to the movies since this is the only time i will be out of the house. we shall see.
merry christmas.

what to do today?

christmas eve morning is here. how can i pay tribute to those lost? i don't know what i will find along the course of my day but i hope and pray that it is something special to brighten the day of someone who needs it.

hours later....

random act presented itself. i was doing laundry and thought it would be nice to go get some kind of cake at the bakery and give it to one of the familys in the laundromat. i bought an apple crumble pie and on my way out of the store i saw a cute dog. i played with it for a bit and an older gentleman standing near by (missing some teeth, smoking a cigarette and drinking coffee) asked me if it was a  is a bird dog? i said yes that the breed was a hunter but i think this particular dog looked nervous and was probably scared of birds. he laughed and smiled. he then commented on how nice the apple crumble was in my hand. "that sure is nice looking cake". with that i handed it to him and said "it's yours. merry christmas". he responded with "really, for me? why would you give this nice cake to me"? i told him it was christmas...he liked  itand so he should have it". he then shared with me his blessings "god bless you". that was so kind of him. i enjoyed the entire experience. what a blessing it is to share the act of kindness.

i am sending my prayers to the children who died in newtown. may god bless them and their families.

random act 3

john just left for the gym and right before he left he mentioned that our friend rafi would be dropping by around noon. yep, random act  number 3 going into action.
it is cold and rainy out so what better way to be greeted than with a bowl of hot yummy yam/apple soup. i have chopped, cut and diced and now all the ingredients are in the pot.
nothing says love and kindness like a bowl of homemade soup on a rainy day in a cozy christmassy home.
i am keeping those that have passed in my heart and prayers and to my prayers are for those left behind to find comfort and peace.

kindness acts - day 2

well it turned out to be a few kindness acts for day 2.
two nights ago i was walking around the ornament area and there was a sign that said take 50 percent off and an additional 10 percent after that. you can imagine with a sale going on like that how busy it was. an older lady approached me to show me a silver angel (not knowing i totally have a connection to angels). she said "isn't this so pretty"? i agreed. she then asked a couple boys (later i learned they were strangers to her) to see if they could find another one for her. well, i took the task on and searched the entire area and eventually found a basket of angels. but when i went to find her, she was gone. so i browsed through the angel ornaments and came up with my plan for kindness act 2.
yesterday on my way to meet a client,  i  pulled into a random mcdonalds and waited for my next act.  a woman, about my age pulled up.  she looked pretty tired and not too excited about going to mcdonalds for breakfast. so when she went inside i went to action. i had the angel wrapped in tissue paper and i had written on the paper  "merry christmas and happy new year, from your guardian angel". as it had been raining her wipers were veritical on the windshield. i placed the package under the wiper with the message facing her.  i positioned myself so she couldn't see me. about 5 minutes later she was back with bags and drinks in hand. she got in the car and immediately saw the package. i have no idea what she thought of this but i hope it lifted her day in some way.
i then went to my clients house in redwood city. within an hour we had filled my suv up with donations. for the first time ever i left half way through the job to go to goodwill. as i waited at the light to get on the highway there was a old lady with a sign asking for money. yep, you know the story. i opened my wallet and gave her all the dollars that i had. i have no idea how much money i gave her but she was incredibly thankful. the giving didn't stop there.
on my return trip from goodwill i was once again stopped at the same stop light....now just on the opposite side of the street of the old lady.   a very old man also had a sign asking for money. i think perhaps these two people are together. i had given all the dollars i had to the lady so the only thing left was change. thankfully we keep lots of quarters in the car for meters. i emptied it out and gave it to him.  he also was incredibly thankful.
i hope my small acts lifted the spirts of 3 people. i don't know what i will do today but i hope it is a reflection of those small children and their teachers who are no longer with us.
my thoughts and prayers are with the families of those who died.

26 acts of kindness,,,number 1

i know that it is called 26 acts of kindness honoring the children and adults killed at the school in newtown ct but i am going to go for 28 - including the mother of the gunman and the gunman himself.
28 acts of kindness.

1st act
walked around the mall contemplating which person to help. couple times i wanted to help two different older people who were either buying coffee or something to eat but they were to quick to the draw with their money. then i spotted a guy at the corn dog booth - buying a dog, a soda and some chips. before he could even take his wallet out i had cash in hand paying the cashier. yay. i gave him a big merry christmas and he then gave me the biggest smile and a very kind "thank you"!
perfect.
i felt good. he felt good.
i like acts of kindness.
i dedicate this act to the memory of the people who died in such a horrible tragedy. may they rest in peace.

i am going to be part of the wave...

After being in Newtown, I woke up the next morning and thought about what could be done. What is the answer to this kind of national suffering?  And I remembered a moment on the edge of Darfur, when I came upon a woman who was elderly and in the hospital, recovering from burns after an attack by Janjaweed militias. She was surrounded in the hospital, by younger women carrying babies, and I asked her to tell the story of how she had suffered these terrible burns all over her body. I learned that she had tried to rescue her invalid husband when her village was attacked and her house was set on fire. She tried to carry her husband out of her house and stayed so long that the thatched roof of her house came down, the hot embers giving her 3rd degree burns.  But she was unable to save her husband. Her husband died.

Antoine Sanfuentes

Ann Curry's inspiration for #26Acts of Kindness dates back to an experience she had while reporting on the genocide in Darfur in 2007, and the joy that giving Polaroid pictures of children brought to mothers who had never held a photograph of their kids.

I remember walking out of that hospital, and the producer saw the look on my face. He said, “Are you okay?” And I said, “No.” And without even thinking, I remember going to our team van and pulling out a Polaroid camera I had brought on that trip. And then I went to all of these women with their children who were in the  courtyard of the hospital, knowing that they had never owned a photograph – ever – of their child. I went around from woman to woman, and I took pictures of them, I took pictures of them with their child, or just of their child alone – without even thinking, just snapping pictures. The first time I did it, I remember giving a photograph to a woman, and she looked at this black square with this quizzed look on her face, and I said, “Just wait one minute! Just wait one minute,” holding up one finger. And then I watched her face melt as she watched her child’s face slowly appear on that Polaroid.

It made me feel better. So I went from mother to mother to mother until I ran out of film.

After the experience in Newtown. I thought, “What if? Imagine if everyone could commit to doing one act of kindness for every one of those children killed in Newtown.” So that’s what I tweeted. And guess what? People committed. I said in my tweet, “I’m in. RT if you’re in.” Not only did they commit to 20 acts of kindness, they wanted to up it to 26 acts of kindness for every child and adult who was lost at the school. Some even debated maybe we should include the mother, who died, at 27 acts. Some debated maybe we should include the killer as well as he was struggling and in pain. What’s really remarkable to me is how many people responded. They are the ones who carried the ball. They are the ones who chose what to do. People would tweet back, “I’ve done two!” “I bought coffee for a guy in line!” “I bought toys for homeless children!” “I’ve got 18 more to go!” or “24 more to go!” – whatever number they were trying to reach.

I was inspired by them. So I started tweeting about what people were doing. Some people thought it was boasting when they would say “I’ve done this” or “I’ve done that.” I don’t think so. I think that whenever you show by example an act of kindness – big or small – something that spends a lot of money, or because you don’t have the money, something that doesn’t, all of it is welcome.

There is no judgment. I think that’s the key. If people want to do it, great. But I think that if they do it, something great happens to you.

When I was tweeting, I noticed that the number one trending topic was something like "ThingsIlikeaboutmyself."  I thought, “Well, if you do act of kindness, I bet you’ll like even more about yourself.” So that’s what I tweeted.

I know the truth: if you do good, you feel good. It’s the most selfish thing you can do. Right now, this country wants to heal. I think the only thing comforting in the face of a tragedy like this is to do something good with it if you can. Be a part of that wave.

Ann Curry, NBC news

a quick vent

as you may know there has been some construction work on my home in the past few weeks. annoying but done.
until today.
took shower this morning and noticed water kind of accumulating in tub. not really draining. wiped my wad of hair away in hopes that would work. not so much. prayed it wasn't a big deal.
later...text from my husband. "shower clogged. landlords and plumber at the house. '" ugh. that is the worst feeling for me to know that i am about to faced by all of those people when i return home.
get home. can't use shower until tomorrow. old lady landlords going on and on about how great they are making the house for us. really? if it is so great, why is there a man standing in my shower? why is there a man standing in my walk-in closet? why am i being told that we won't have shower access until tomorrow night?
fast forward a couple hours...
right now all i can think about is that i want to take a shower. the apartment is freezing cold and a hot shower would be nice. damn.
ok plan b. turn on little space heater to heat up bedroom super warm.
ok that worked. still would like a shower but it can wait.
thank god for plan b.
and thank you for letting me vent.

doing good

i know i posted the other day that i want to do something positive or as i said do something "good" as a wat to acknowledge the children and adults who were murdered last week. but i feel stuck.
when i go on line my home page is the news...right now that means photos of the smiling 6 and 7 year olds that were killed.  it makes me feel so sad, scared, helpless and a paralysis sets in. nothing i can do can make things better. it is overwhelming.
so i am stuck. i don't know what to do.

an extra week

i think i have a hard time with the transition of the end of the year and the start of all things new in the new year. as we come to the end of the year i am thinking about celebrating christmas, shopping for presents and a contemplative look at the year that is coming to an end...what worked, what didn't, what i did, what i didn't. it is a digesting process of the year. and i need some time to settle with it. and then bam it is the start of the new year.
the new year is promises of all things possible that can happen. but i need a week at least to prepare for that. i get so in to the wind down of the year that the start of the new year just throws me.
oh well the process of the year is invetibale and i can't change it. so i need to spend less time winding down and a little more getting ready.
let's see if that happens.

experiencing tragedy

This is a letter to the editor of a New Hampshire newspaper from my newphew.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Virginia Tech grad reflects on shooting

Letter to the Editor

On Friday, I found myself in the shoes of a third-grader in Connecticut, trying to make sense of humanity.

I remember the Virginia Tech shooting on a fairly regular basis. As a Nashua native, conversations about where I went to college inevitably turn to the shooting, and sometimes it still hurts no matter how natural it has become to brush it off.

I know how dark that day was for me, yet I find myself unable to comprehend the level of tragedy and horror brought by Friday, because it was experienced through the minds and eyes of children – not college-attending pseudo-adults, but children.

How do kids experience the confusion and darkness of a lockdown, or the terror-fueled escape? I watched the students run hand-in-hand away from the building and thought of what it felt like to sprint, alongside a couple friends, out of the architecture building to a friend’s truck.

We sat and waited for endless hours to hear if our friends and colleagues were all right. I imagine wondering if my favorite playmate is gone forever, or if my favorite teacher will ever smile at me again. Will these kids have that twinge of survivor’s guilt?

On any normal day, relating to an elementary school kid would be a welcome respite from whatever “being an adult” is.

Let’s hope these surviving children use the same unabashed courage they use when climbing one branch higher on the tree next to their house to remember what it’s like to be a kid.

Matthew Patrick Van Wagner

Salt Lake City, Utah

sunday

hello sunday. kind of cold and damp out. john is in donner. i have no worked booked. there is absolutely nothing written in my calendar. i am drinking coffee in bed. only two words come to mind...thank you.
some people love having a booked calendar and having their lives completely scheduld. for me i like the moment after  i have done everything on my to do list and been to every appointment listed on my calendar...the moment like now.
i am solutely beholden to nothing today. i am so going to enjoy this open feeling for a while and do absolutely nothing.
thank you sunday.

good morning saturday

yesterday a terrible tragedy occurred...a gunman entered an elementary school killing 27 people. 20 of them adults. i read the various posts about how america needs to take action...everything from gun control to provide more family ill people. there also many sharing thoughts of prayer and love for the victims and their families.  but then i read the following that really resonated with me...

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." To this day, especially in times of "disaster," I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.” - Fred Rogers

i want to be a helper. i don't know how or where but i want to do something to acknowledge those lost and the families suffering. i want to be a helper .

the people i meet

i feel so blessed that i have the opportunity because of my personality to meet a variety of people on a daily basis.
today while leaving the supermarket i heard a funny exchange between two older ladies. the one lady said to her friend really loud and in a funny voice...
"what kind of kind cookie is this? this is not even a chocolate chip cookie?"
that just made me giggle. instantly thought of my husband who just loves chocolate chip cookies. i mean thanksgiving for him is turkey and cookies.
well then the ladies made their way towards me so i shared with how their conversation made me smile and that my husband also loves chocolate chip cookies. that just got the two of them roaring laughing...the kind of jolly make your belly jiggle laugh. the following conversation unfolded...
lady -  "you tell your husband you met a jersey girl."
me - "you will be happy to know my husband is a jersey guy."
both ladies - huge laughts and screams of "oh my lord"
lady - "you tell him you met a girl from the elisabeth/newark area"
me  - "he's a guy from the ewing/trenton area.
more laughter
then we had a mutual "merry christmas" exchange and "have a nice day".
I LOVE THAT.
i of course immediately called my husband and shared my experience. he thought that was hysterical.
what a fun exchange between total strangers.
i just love that.
merry christmas everyone.

everything comes together.

today has been one of those days where i realized that everything i have done in my career has led me to be able to help the client i met today.

first, her home is located south of sf in redwood city. on the drive down i hit a major traffic jam and immediatley stressed about being late.  thankfully i have had two different sales jobs that required me to work in this area so i was able to find an alternate route.
second, i have been lucky to work with a variety of people from my days finding jobs for people with disabilities to a vast clientele as a yoga teacher. let's say that this person appeared a bit socially awkward and maybe a disability. i sensed her angst about meeting me and showing me where she needed help. thankfully i had a good insigiht as to how to make her feel comfortable and positive about our experience working together.  in that moment i knew that everything i have done in the past has prepared me for this exact moment. 

i have to say it felt prety good. 

i am home

these past two weeks have been a little stressful and amazingly it is now all behind me.

just moved back home. so nice.

i am incredibly grateful. sure the workers made a couple changes that i didn't like. not all of my items have been returned from cleaning. but right here, right now i am lying on my bed, watching recorded tv shows and typing away at my computer.

i am so thankful. the past is done. the future hasn't happened. the present is PERFECT. 

thank you.

wow

took yoga class last night...attempting to knocki off things from my weekly to do list.
i went to a yoga school i don't normally go to and to say i suffered through the entire class is a total  understatement. i survived but it was not pretty.
was it the heat? no. i didn't feel that hotter than any other class.
was it what i ate? i didn't really eat too much.
was i dehydrated? maybe.
what do i think it was? it was me. that stupid little inner voice telling me a bunch of different stories.
everything from the thoughts about how annoying it is that i am living at a holiday inn and not my own apartment to evaluating what the teacher was saying to how much longer do i have to be in this sweaty room. i couldn't turn off that voice.
there is really only way to solve it.
yep, i need way more yoga. noon class here i come.

monday

i got a list of things i want to do this week.

move back home. unpack. clean apartment.

prepare house for ladies dinnner party.

complete jobs for 2 differenet clients.

sign on two new clients.

work on new business idea.

send out christmas cards.

work on john's christmas gifts. 

yoga. yoga. yoga.

groceries. home cooked meals.
pick up my watches.
call my mom.

it is a random list but if i get these things done...it will have been a good week.

happy monday.

SUNDAY

right now i am in perfect bliss. john and i just got back from having coffee next door to the hotel. we chatted, laughed and enjoyed doing nothing. now  i am lying in bed watching a chick flick and playing around on my computer. and it is only 9:30. i got the entire day ahead of me. no rush to be anywhere.
this past week was hectic unsettling crazy. but that is in the past.
my present moment right here right now is perfect. sun is peaking in. this is a perfect day. no plans ahead. john and i are just going to take a walk and see where the day takes us. i love this day.
thank you. thank you. thank you.
i feel perfect.
happy sunday.
go niners.

today's thoughts

it is saturday and john and i once again have had to relocate. our apartment was to be done yesterday and at 5:30 we were notified by the landlords' attorneys that work will not be completed until monday. wow, really? so i went on line and got us a room at the holiday inn.
today is a new day. john and i are watching tv in bed. i just went out and had some coffee and in an hour i am off to work.
sure this has been inconvenient. our landladies have done nothing to help us. but hey i have a bed, a shower and i am a phone call away from room service. in the grand scheme of things, i am fortunate and blessed. i am grateful.

holidays, what?

i have been so caught up in my housing situation since thanksgiving that i really have not been in the christmas spirit. i see the lights and the trees and the decorations but it feels like i am just watching it like a movie.
the good news...i still have almost three weeks to jump on board.
maybe i'll start that monday.

222 continues

i saw a sign that read  "222 the question is the journey"?
well one of the big questions i have asked myself lately is...why is this happening?
yes, the question is the journey.
and with that i have had a light bulb moment or as oprah would say an "aha moment".
in regards to my organizing business, i have consistently said that my business model is evolving into something else. i didn't know into what but i knew this is not it. one thing was that i need to get in front of a larger audience. who is that audience? what does that mean? what am i doing in front of them?
the question is the journey.
and now i think i have got it. or at least part of it.
the idea is still in the infancy stage. i have shared this with  with my husband and a few close friends who agree that i am on to something.
so today begins the research, the planning, the fun.
the journey continues.

hmmm

so i did pretty well yesterday staying on track and not getting caught up in the little life distractions. that is until i finished work and opened my email...
many many back and forth exchanges between my neighbors, the attorneys for the landlords and my husband. then i saw the texts. and then there were voice mails. so i thought...just drive over to your place. it can't be that bad.
it was worse.
as i approached my house, i could see the door was wide open to the street (about 5 pm) and workers were buzzing in and out of our. there were also those who were just standing by holding brooms. as soon as i entered the energy went to the next level. the job was to be done at 6 and they weren't even close. seeing that the toilet and the sink sat in the hall i could pretty much guess it was not to be done anytime soon. i could all se my landlords in their car conspiring.
yep the distractions got me.
of course during this time the attorneys for the landlord were emailing my husband that the job was close to being completed. little did he know i was at the apartment and well he was wrong.  i thought my head would explode from the stress. i started taking pictures, paced around the apartment, called my husband talked to the neighbors. ugh.
basically i got all whirled up in the drama. of course the toxic fumes from the paint and the floor glue did not help.
at the witching hour fo 6 the workers continued and i said good bye and returned to my temp digs in the castro.
today is a new day. the rain is pouring. i am snuggled in a stranger's bed. so far so good. i am drama free.

tuesday

just a quick post as i have to dash out the door to work. nice.
going to keep with my own advice today...keep focusing on the things that serve me and let everything else go by.
i am ready.
happy tuesday people.

222

so i am using this post to get my mental focus back on track. i have been side tracked by the various dramas that have been popping up in my life.
1. having to leave our apartment becuase of mold and all that that means...health issues, reimbursement, have to find another place to stay
2. the temporary housing situation - owner left it a mess, power is out so no wifi and cable, owner has been awful and done nothing to get power restored and has threatened legal action when we have done everything to make this work
these are the two big ones. sure john and i have had to respond but they are just simply distractions to the things that are important in my life and i am not going to let it consume me.
john and i will keep moving forward to get things right with our apartment. i have checked us out of the temporary place and we are just going to get a hotel room. and that is that.
222...keep moving forward with the positive things in my life and not get caught up with the distractions of these things.

the fat photo

john (the husband) and i are living in a temporary apartment while our home is under contstruction. as a result we have been eating out. so today while having eggs and a bagel with cream cheese (2 days in a row) i was flipping through photos my husband took over the thanksgiving weekend in tahoe. all looked good until...the fat photo. sure it could have been the angle of the photo but there was no mistaking, it looked like i was in one of those trick mirrors that distorts your body shape...only this one made me fat. wow. as i mentioned i was feeling a bit full after the holiday weekend but wow nothing like a fat photo to put in perspective.
sure made eating the eggs and bagel difficult to swallow. thankfully it is sunday cause you know what that means...tomorrow is monday and no better day to pull it back together than starting fresh on monday. there is no way in hell i am going to feel like a stuffed bird january 1st. doesn't feel good and as i have now seen doesn't look good.
here's to cleaning it up for the next month. no fat photos for me. yuck.

conflict resolution

Conflict resolution: Definition from Answers.com

conflict resolution: the methods and process of negotiation, arbitration, and institution building which promote the peaceful ending of social conflict.

i hate conflict and will do my best to remedy a situation prior to the potential for coflict. but what if i am the one being wronged? well i want the other person to offer how to make it better. i am so not good at just asking the other party to make it right.

my husband and i have rented a temporary apartment while our home is under construction (that is another story) and when we arrived the place was shall we say not close to level of a $169 a night rental should be - trash, dishes, yucko open take out containers with fries/burger/ketchup, thong underwear on the floor and today no wifi/cable. i called the owner and she said "thanks for the feedback". well to say i was left feeling unsatisfied is the understatment of the moment. i called my friend but that just felt like retelling the story and the response was "well what do you want"? huh. good question.

i want it to be recognized that the place was left like crap and not hear the owners lame-o excuses as she didn't have enough time to make it ready. well, then why the hell did you list in the first place for yesterday if you couldn't get it ready? i want you to say your sorry. i want you to offer me a solution to make me feel not taken advantage of.
so i called the listing agent. gave them the information...even sent photos of the mess. i then contacted the owner and told her i contacted the listing agent and want a reimbursement. now they can figure it out how to make this situation right.
my take away.
don't look to others for them to say what you want to hear. conflict happens.
clearly state what didn't work/what was wrong and how it can be made right again.
there is a conflict and it is resolved.
conflict resolution.