gabby once told me she hated when people posted on her facebook wall. and now she is gone and it is the only place for people to connect to her. i keep going back to the page over and over thinking i will see something. i don't know what i will see but something.
i did connect a few things. from her photos i connected to her best friend. she shared that Gabby was at her family home when she passed away. from a post i learned that a funeral home was contacted and that the family had a private service. gabby was cremated. they want to have a celebration service at another time. the friend also told me that. she said the family is just in a terrible state of grief and they want to wait until they are ready to celebrate gabby.
i even saw a short 10 second video of her plugging a retreat she went on. i only could watch it two times. seemed strange.
yesterday wherever i went i saw women that resembled gabby. i heard one woman share with her friend that she was on some kind of medication for her anxiety. she didn't like taking it but it helped. i wonder what was gabby feeling.
i wonder if i could have done more. i don't think so. i imagine everyone asks themselves that. i think gabby and i had a pretty good supportive friendship.
5 days ago she was alive. all of this makes no sense to me and i think perhaps it never will.
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