jealousy

yucky.
i rarely have it but every once in a while my insecurities rear their ugly heads and i feel - gulp - jealous. i know...so stupid right? for me it is never about a tangible item it is about relationships. i.e. wow i can't believe my friend would do that for that person when i know my friend wouldn't do that for me. even reading that line makes me so annoyed and irritated at myself. but it's true. how do we value ourselves. a lot of times it is based on the quality of our relationships. however the component that i tend to leave out is the reality of the full scope. often times what i am upset about in a relationship really has nothing to do with that relationship. normally it is about the other person and what they can or can not do and 9 times out of 10 has absolutely nothing to do with me . bleh.
i know who my friends are and who loves me but there are those days when your not feeling oh so special and a little dull that you think huh, i wish i had a different kind of relationship. yep, i have a feeling what i am experiencing right now has a tad bit to do with a slice case of the good old pms.
i think i''ll call a friend and see what their up to!