recently i headed down to l.a. for my friend katie's dad's funeral. it was such a special day and i truly felt blessed to be there. t.y. was a special man and his reach of friendship and love extended broad and wide. i can see where katie gets her good natured loving charm. i am so grateful that i could be there to support her and share back the love she has shared with me.
i realized that although i have experienced the deaths of close family members and friends that in some ways i am lucky. having experienced difficult loss, i am also thankful that i understand how important it is to show up. my incredibly wonderful dad died when i was 30 years old. it was probably the worst time of my life. even now i cry thinking about it. but i remember so clearly being at the funeral home for the wake, my dad in the open casket and groups of people standing around talking. for the life of me i could not imagine what anyone could possibly talk about. and then i looked across the room and my college friend katherine riley walked in the room. she showed up. i knew i didn't have to say anything to her but her presence made me feel almost normal again. she was there for me. i didn't know it but i needed it.
i think that experience and a few others really shaped the person who i am today. i made a very clear and conscious decision that regardless of the circumstances (travel, finances, work) that if i am ever needed by a friend or a family member that i will show up. thank you katherine riley for sharing with me what it truly means to be a friend.
so i dedicate this post to t.y. hayes - you were an incredible person - a loving husband, dad, grandfather and friend. you will be missed by your amazing hayes clan but certainly not forgotten.
rest in peace t.y.
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